my first affair with that older woman

when I look back now
at the abuse I took from
her
I feel shame that I was so
innocent,
but I must say
she did match me drink for
drink,
and I realized that her life
her feelings for things
had been ruined
along the way
and that I was no more than a
temporary
companion;
she was ten years older
and mortally hurt by the past
and the present:
she treated me badly:
desertion, other
men;
she brought me immense
pain,
continually;
she lied, stole;
there was desertion,
other men,
yet we had our moments; and
our little soap opera ended
with her in a coma
in the hospital,
and I sat at her bed
for hours
talking to her,
and then she opened her eyes
and saw me:
"I knew it would be you,"
she said,
then she closed her
eyes.

the next day she was
dead.

I drank alone
for two years
after that.

charles bukowski

"at times you get so alone that it just makes sense"

---
(lo voy a traducir yo, modestamente.)

cuando miro hacia atrás en el tiempo
me da pena haber sido
tan inocente
por todo el abuso cometido con ella,
pero he de decir
que me igualaba copa
a copa,
y me doy cuenta que su vida
sus sentimientos
se fueron arruinando
a través del camino
y que yo no era más que un
compañero temporario;
ella era diez años mayor
mortalmente herida por el pasado
y el presente;
me trataba pésimamente;
abandono, otros
hombres;
me trajo dolor
inmenso,
continuo;
ella mentía, robaba;
había abandono,
otros hombres,
empero tuvimos nuestros momentos; y
nuestra pequeña comedia terminó
con ella en coma
en el hospital,
y yo sentado junto a su cama
por horas
hablándole,
y cuando ella abrió los ojos
y me vio,
dijo:
"yo sabía que eras tú."
luego cerró los
ojos.

al otro día ella estaba
muerta.

Bebí solo
por dos años
después de eso.